Halfway

On Monday I begin week 6 of my CPE internship. I haven't blogged since I started because a. I haven't had a lot of time and b. it is hard to really put into words my experience of the last 5 weeks. I'll try my best to put an update in a few tidbits...

--A large part of CPE is group time. We meet 3 times a week for several hours to go over written reflections and encourage and challenge one another. I am in a diverse group of people...myself, another twenty something, a 67 year old, and then 3 coworkers that have 24 year old daughters. There are 3 women and 3 men and we are facilited by a supervisor. I was concerned at how the age difference would play out but it turns out that I could not ask for a better group. We all have our differences but in the end it's a really safe space to try new things and process what we are doing on the hospital floors.

--I am the chaplain for 2 units: a floor that has patients that need to be monitored at all times but aren't serious enough to be in ICU--it's kind of a catch all unit; and a rehabilitation unit. It's been fun to get to know the staffs on both units-I am continually amazed by the hard work of nurses! On my catch all floor the patients leave every couple days so I rarely see them more than once. But on my rehab unit patients stay around 2 weeks...sometimes more. Yesterday I celebrated with a patient that had been in rehab for 6 weeks--she had been there longer than I had. While I enjoy being a chaplain on the catch all floor I have to admit I love the rehab unit because I can get to know the patients and their families so much better.

--I also am on call about once a week--a time when I get called in no matter what hour of the day. So far there haven't been any middle of the night calls but I'm betting I'll have at least one before it's over.

--I totally see why CPE is required for all PCUSA ordination canidates. I have been confronted in dealing with issues including--death, terminal illness, bioethic end of life issues, growing old... It hasn't been easy for me to deal with the stuff but I do realize that all of these things are facts of life. I was reading over my systematic theology notes from Ray Anderson and he said that "love has to be big enough to encompass the tragic...realize that when a baby is born then it is inevitable that that baby will be a person who will die." It's not a pleasant image but it is realistic... So I do feel like I am being prepared to be in ministry and also be a more whole person in general.

--There are many more things I could share... patients that have touched my heart, situations that have pushed me more than I could have ever imagined, putting my theology into practice, and the development of my professional and pastoral identities... But for now I want to celebrate that I am halfway done, and that, my friends, is exciting.